We Will Hurt Each Other

Harm is an inevitable consequence of relating to others. This is a difficult truth to accept in a culture that often paints a picture where only a minority of people would cause harm, and that to cause another person harm is so grave an offense that they should forever be labeled a “bad person” unfit for the public. The stigma associated with being a person who could cause harm is often so great that even people who are excited about words like accountability, responsibility, reparative, restorative, and/or transformative justice become frightened, defensive, and/or aggressive when harm comes up as a topic that affects their personal relationships.

The goal of this game is for groups to build skill around discussing harm and to explore connection, fear, and grief around the topic of harm. This is a game about exploring scenarios in which one person feels harmed by another person.

It is designed to be a tool to explore our values around how others are impacted by our behavior as a group and to help us identify ways our automatic responses may be different from how we ideally would like to respond. It involves practicing accepting our capacity to cause other people hurt or harm, actively listening to other people tell us that they are hurt or harmed by our behavior, paying attention to our feelings and the physical responses our bodies have in these situations, and responding in a way that shows care for the other person, for ourselves, and/or for our own values.